"If you want to be happy, be." - Leo Tolstoy
Everybody want to achieve happiness, but how may of us are truly happy. Do you know why happiness is so elusive to most of us. It is true what Aristole said. “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence”. Our sole purpose in life is nothing but achieving happiness. We do everything in life to find happiness. Be it finding great love, owning a beautiful house, having a satisfying and well-paid job, getting married, staying healthy, spending time with loved ones, achieving your dreams, be liked and loved, etc. Ironically, the search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness, to quotes Eric Hoffer.
According to Darrin McMahon, PhD, author of "Happiness: A History", the more you reach for happiness, the more it seems to slip away. Ask yourself if you’re happy, and you stop to be so. Isn't happiness is a natural feeling, then why do we seek it as if it is something special and rare? So we must be looking for happiness in all the wrong places, right? And when we are happy all the time, others may thought of us as being arrogant, selfish, juvenile or we are just faking it. "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln
So what is happiness? Some say happiness is a state of mind. The very source of true happiness lies in our mind, and not in external circumstances. How your view yourself and your world are are our conscious choices. Your thought determines and interprets what is happening around you. And it is from your interpretation, you act or react. Thus, all this action becomes your life.
You can choose to find happiness in small, everyday things. You can choose to interpret what happens in a positive way. Or in a negative way. And your choices control much of how much happiness your will find and create in your life.
Then there are others who say to achieve happiness, is to overcome negativity and count your blessings.You need to let go and release the need to to control. One key way to achieve happiness is letting go, forgive and move on. Let go of anger, jealousy, dejection, or pride. But you may say, it is only natural that people are angry, depressed, or dejected.
But the truth is you have a choice to decide not to be angry, depressed or dejected. You know that all these negative and energy-sapping thoughts do more harm than good. Instead we should find way how to get rid of these past useless thoughts as they are hindering our path to happiness. Stop holding on to these emotional attachment. Remember life goes on.
"It is only possible to live happily-ever-after on a day-to-day basis." - Margaret Bonnano
As they say, the only time we have is the present moment. The present is the only time we have to be truly happy. Our life is define by moment by moment in the present, as long as our heart keeps beating. By our minds aren’t always in the present. Usually, they tend to veer off into the future or back to the past. Remember, the past is over and the future is yet to come. All you have is the present and it is happening right now.
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present." - Babatunde Olatunji
We cannot control over time, but we can consciously live life fully and happily in the present moment. To live in the present moment requires awareness and deliberate effort to focus our minds on what we are doing or experiencing now. For example, the next time, when you are having a meal, take time and consciously savor your food and sip your wine. Or even right now, you can concentrate your attention on your breathing, your walking, or your heartbeat.
I know all these is easier said than done. We can't live everyday, keeping consciously aware of the very present all the time. But sadly, most of the time, we can easily relive our past or thinking of the future without much effort.
I think the only time, we can truly absorbed in the present moment is when we were kids. Our early childhood was a time of rapturous happiness. Kids really live life to the fullest, throw caution to the wind and live life in wild abandon. No inhibition, no judging, no worries and know nothing about the future.
Every living moment is now and exciting. Kids don't care about the passing of time, as they live in each moment that presented itself, happily and fully.They don't have much or any past to be angry with or happy about, neither any knowledge of the coming future for them. They live and laugh themselves silly all the time.
Another way to achieve happiness is stay hopeful. According to an assistant professor of counseling psychology at Santa Clara University in California, there are three essential components for hope to thrive. They are having goals, a plan and the motivation to achieve them. People cannot find happiness by playing the blame game, but instead they should be asking what should we do now and act on it. Hopeful people are happy people.
By being real and accept reality is a good way to find happiness. By having positive outlook, doesn't mean you turn a blind eye to pain, rejection or frustration. As you know happiness is not the absence of sadness. You don't always stay upbeat or happy by reciting pop psychology mantra; that is phony happiness.
When you suppress your negative emotions, in fact you become more anxious and depressed. Instead you should be finding outlets for your sadness and frustration. Let them go then only you gain some measure of control over your life. Confide in others about your problem. Use them as a sounding board and not as a dumping ground for your painful and negative emotions.
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." - Frederick Keonig
By being grateful for what we have is definitely the simplest way to achieve happiness. In fact happiness is already right in your life. For instance, for having a reasonably good health when you can walk down the country lane enjoying the fine weather, beautiful natural surroundings with your loved ones or good friends, laughing and talking nineteen to the dozen.
We experience joy when we celebrate and give thanks for life's blessings. As they say happiness is contagious. You can be happy even by talking to happy people, listening to cheerful upbeat music, watching funny movies, or read books with happy endings or uplifting quotes. Look for happiness in the moment.
The problem is we are all too caught up with the constant pursuit of goal on how to be happy, and forget how to be happy now. We always thought something is missing which is why we are not happy. As I have said happiness is a choice we can consciously make. The potential of achieving happiness has all along with us. Or in other words, happiness is you. You are the one who decide to be happy or otherwise. When you are truly happy, you are radiant and you function fully. You feel loving, as the essence of happiness is love.
True happiness is when you are kind, generous, open, warm and friendly.
Be simple. Having less is more. More time to relax, more space to move and having more money in your saving account. Get rid of some of those desires that you may not really want or need that much. You'll feel less stressful and bogged down with worries. Life will be calmer and you can find happiness in many other simple pleasures in life. For instance, taking moment to witnessing the sunset, savoring fragrant coffee or holding hands of someone you love.
A happy outlook, in life an awareness of happiness, an aptitude for happiness can help you to achieve true happiness.